Ethiopian Adoption

Consolidating

2008-09-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Up until this point, I've been keeping two separate blogs. This one, specific to the adoption, and another one which is more overall family oriented for us. So, since we are all together as a family now, I'm going to consolidate the two blogs into one. All future posts about Tadi and the Luneke family will be here:

http://luneke-family-2.blogspot.com/

Please hop on over and have a look-see :)

With love,
Beth, Matt, Chloe, Rachel, Tadi

The Shoe Shine Boy of Addis Ababa/Thank you

2008-09-11T18:23:00.000-07:00

WRITTEN BY BETH'S BROTHER ED:

THE SHOE SHINE BOY OF ADDIS ABABA

While looking out over the city of Addis Ababa on the balcony of our third story hotel room on the day of our departure, I was, once again, greeted by our shoe shine boy, Matewos, whose beaming smile became a familiar and welcome sight for me. Now motioning for me to have my shoes shined, again, I gladly accepted for not only were they in desperate need of another polishing after our walk through the Mercato, but I knew that he would do as excellent a job as before.

Now with his proud display of shoe polish, brushes, rags, and shoe cream, Matewos went to work, while reminding me that a tap on the shoe box meant that it was time for me to switch shoes. Once again, I was impressed with his smooth and speedy brush work as he effortlessly switched from hand-to-hand while applying shoe polish an, careful not to miss a spot, careful not to get any on my shoelaces. I was also taken by his genuine enthusiasm and joy and great pride which he took in doing his work. It reminded me of a quote by M.L. King, Jr.:

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well."

Now finished I thanked him for a job well done as I gave him a big hug and wished him well as he headed down the street. Before out of sight, though, I asked an elderly gentleman, standing close by, if he could also please let Matewos know that Jesus loves him. Shouting out these words in Amharic, Matewos acknowledged with a quick turn of the head and a smile.

Soon thereafter, as we were leaving our hotel for the airport, I was pleasantly surprised to see Matewos, once again. There he was at street side awaiting our departure with his usual smile and greeting of farewell. I quick smiled and waved in return to this young boy dressed in raggedy clothes, holding his shoe shine box, anxious to see us one last time and to say goodbye. As Matewos slowly dissappeared from our sight, I thought to myself, here is a shoe shine boy who does his job well.

THANK YOU

In a distant land we were greeted by the beggar and the orphan, the blind and the lame, the homeless and the sick and the dying. One might think it was a scene from Scripture in Jesus' time, yet it was our time where for a brief but lasting moment we encountered a people who seemed worlds apart, caught in the embrace of poverty, who embraced us with endearing smiles and peaceful greetings of Salom. Upon a common road we briefly exchanged glances with our Ethiopian brothers and sisters who reminded us that in the end love is what most matters.

I am ever thankful for God's grace which strenthened, sustained and blessed us throughout our journey in Ethiopia, and for the friendships formed and love shared, especially among the adoptive families. Their loving response to our Lord's invitation to open their homes and their hearts to Yididya, Melat, Yeabsira, Dibora, Zachary, and Tadi are to be counted among the many blessings of my life. Thank You!

Photos of Tadi and Uncle Ed!

Taken at the Playspace at the mall-

Riding in a friend's car in front of his new house-

In the backyard with some friends-

Bro. Ed

Thank You

2008-09-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

I just spent the last hour and a half going through all the comments that everyone made on the blog during my trip in Ethiopia (I could not see them while in ET) and I want to say thank you. Thank you so much, for watching, for caring, for enjoying this. Your comments are awesome.

Some photos of the arrival to the airport:

During the trip, I kept a fairly substantial journal of my experience: thoughts, emotions, observations; from which I developed these blog posts. The first night we arrived home, I fell asleep at 8:30pm, consciousness obliterated. At 4am sharp, I was awake, acutely. I lay there for another hour, trying to fall back asleep before giving up. I got up, grabbed my journal, and made for the cozy chairs in the family room. I spent the next hour and an half journaling the trip home. I want to share with you verbatim what I wrote in my journal about my experience with having a group of our friends at the airport to greet us:

"It is difficult to express how much more expansive this whole experience is with this group of friends here to welcome us home from this journey. It's like living in 4 dimensions instead of just 3."

Thank you for being there. I will never forget it.

Some more pictures of life at home so far:

The girls in traditional Ethiopian outfits-

His favorite toy by far is a ball, any ball-

Chloe took this one. Pretty nice, huh?

We weren't sure whether or not he liked the pool... ;)

Painting hand-made crafts from Ethiopia-

Tadi has been adjusting to our family with incredible ability. I have so enjoyed watching him open up, learn to trust, catching his infectious giggles, seeing his soul. He is a beautiful boy, from the inside first. Chloe and Rachel have welcomed him with open arms and open hearts. They have showered him with affections... and toys... helped him to dress, made him giggle, reveled in his adorable Amharic chatter, shared his bedroom every night since he has been home. Matt has opened his heart and his love to a son; a son whose coming originated in my heart, my spirit. Matt has given himself over to me on this journey and now to his son on his arrival home. The last line in my journal:

"Thank you for teaching me to hear your voice and for giving us the courage to follow it."

With Love,

Beth

Matt, Chloe, Rachel, and Tadi

on our way home

2008-09-05T07:10:00.001-07:00

Just a quick note to let you know we cleared through the US Embassy and got Tadi's visa today. Our flight leaves at 10:15pm, Ethiopia time.

For those who have considered coming to the airport, the children here are very accustomed to strangers saying hello and kissing them. What Tadi would probably be most comfortable with is a kiss on the cheek. "Hello" in his language is pronounced "SEH lahm".

For those families who were hoping for pictures from me, I (or Beth P.) was able to get photos/video for everyone.

Looking forward to being home. Rach- hope you had a great last day at Kids R Kids and are looking forward to your new school next week!! Chloe- hope you had a great week at school! I can't wait to see you guys and give you a huge hug. I miss you so much.

Peace to all-

Beth

Gotcha Day

2008-09-03T12:11:00.001-07:00

Well, I don't know what else to say up front, other than he's beautiful. In every way. Looks, personality, energy, life, ability, smiles. I couldn't have written a better "Gotcha Day" story than what we experienced today.

When we got to the orphanage, the kids were having lunch. Completely adorable, of course. All these little ones sitting at little tables eating traditional Ethiopian food out of bowls with their hands. I was scanning the room for Tadi, but was not able to readily pick him out of the group. Someone told me who he was and both Ed and I were surprised. He really looked different than his picture. They had him dressed in the really hip looking American flag shirt; he was pretty stylin'. He looked up and saw me, seemingly with a knowing look. The children seemed very well prepared for what was happening today. I went over and said hello and told him I am his mother. He slopped injera into his mouth :) While they finished eating, we toured the orphanage grounds, and I was really quite impressed. Very clean and reasonably spacious. After lunch, all the children take a nap, so Tadi was in his bed when I came back. He looked at me, not afraid, not moving toward me. I played peek-a-boo with him and he gave me a little grin. The caregiver coaxed him out of bed, and we walked out to the front, hand-in-hand.

The caregivers changed him into the clothes I brought (I wanted to swap and keep the American flag shirt, but they didn't want to :). He came out totally adorable, stomping his feet to make the little lights in his tennis shoes flicker. On the drive home, he gazed out the window and put his hand out to feel the breeze. Soon though, he was fast asleep in my arms. He awoke shortly before we arrived back to the hotel and had great fun playing with his two friends who also were coming home today.

We got to the hotel room and Tadi grabbed up the crayons and coloring book and went to town. He tried a Goldfish, gave me a strange and curious look, and proceeded to eat them by the fistful. Within 15 minutes, he flowered into this curious, playful, independent, chatterbox, very happy kid. This kid loves life. And we loved watching him.

We had dinner (he pretty much will eat anything), took a bath, got his jammies on, and he put his light-flickering tennis shoes back on. He played for a bit more and then we got him off to bed. He gave me a little grimace because he didn't want to stop playing, but konked-out sound asleep in about 5 minutes. And the best part Matt…. I didn't have to stay with him in the room while he went to sleep :)

Chloe, Rach – I'm so excited for you to meet your brother. He is so much fun and loves to play. He is very good at sharing. I showed him your picture today and he took some Goldfish out of the bowl and put it to your mouths in the photo. I can see three little Luneke's having a lot of fun real soon!! I miss you guys so much and really, REALLY can't wait to be home now. Xo-xo-xo

The rest of the pictures

2008-09-03T12:01:00.001-07:00

These are the second half of the pictures that go with the "Getting Current" post-

Getting Current

2008-09-03T11:51:00.001-07:00

I wrote this post last night, spent 45 minutes trying to upload the pictures this morning, then the system just died - nothing. Ugh. So, here it is, a day old (half the photos are posted here, and half in the the next post):
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OK – time for me to put this blog in high gear, because tomorrow is *thee* day. We leave at 9:30am for the orphanage to pick up the kids!!! And I'm supposed to sleep tonight??
The rest of Day 1
After lunch and your average ride in a donkey cart, we headed down the road again. The next stop, the beach (photo 1). It was so unexpected. We drive a loooong way down this dusty, pot-holed road which seemingly housed the poorest of the poor until it dead ends into... a beach resort. It's a sandy beach vacation spot with a 180 degree view of the mountains surrounding it. I felt the urge to kick off the shoes and stick my feet in the water. Cool, refreshing, wonderful, after many hours cramped in a van.
We finally arrive in the southern town, we take the hippo tour (see a couple posts below), check into the hotel, then head for dinner. Our chaperone tells us we're going for "raw meat, no pizza in Ethiopia". He's said this many times already today and I'm feeling pretty clueless about whether he's joking or not. Raw fish…. Ok. Raw meat…. not so ok. We get to the restaurant and my heart eases as I see "pizza" on the menu. I flip it to the other side just to be sure there is no "raw meat" on that side. Blank. Cool. The raw meat is not on the menu, it's hanging on a hook aside the butcher block which is directly adjacent to our table. Raw meat meaning a whole skinned sheep. The butcher is slicing chunks off the sheep, butchering it right there, then tossing it to the guy who is frying it in a huge wok-like thing over an open fire. I'm watching the guy carve the meat off the sheep and I'm thinking, "There is no way he can cut anything else off that thing." Then SWACK there comes another slice carved clean to the bone. Then I'm like, "OK, now he's done" and WHACK there goes the tail. Then he proceeds to actually cut the ribs off the thing and carve the meat out between each rib. 10 people in our group got pizza. 1 got the wok-fried sheep (not me). But, I tried it. It was awesome. Somewhere in the midst of this adventure, the skies open up and the lightening starts cracking right over our heads. Pretty much nobody is phased by this, except me apparently. As the rain starts to fall, we eventually head for cover (did I mention we were outside?) but the inside is completely full, so we find shelter under a thatched roof which houses the cashier's station. 11 people drinking St. George beer from the tap under a thatched roof at a raw meat restaurant in Ethiopia during a thunderstorm. I'm not sure I could ever write a more surreal sentence than that one. I was lovin' every minute of it, too. Sorry, no photos of that one available.
Did I say I was going to make this post short?? This stuff is too good to skimp on.
OK – on to Day 2
The big event of Day 2 was meeting the birth family members. I'm not able to share much on this except that it was invaluable experience and one that I will be forever thankful to our chaperone for. While we were there, we hung out on the street in front of the building and made friends with passersby. We made an amazing discovery… Ethiopians have never seen a digital photograph! Wow – we're pretty clever. So, we, and they, started getting a huge kick out of taking their picture and then showing it to them. The response never failed. They'd look at the pictures, their eyes would go like Frisbees, their mouths would beam in amazement, and then the pointing and laughing would ensue. They loved it. We loved it. We did it many times that day. Photos 2 and 3 show pictures of some friends we made that day. There was a tiny little C-store right in front of where I had the picture with the kids and a couple guys from our group bought lollipops for a couple of the kids. They left, then gee, a couple more kids came. Then a couple more. And on and on. They cleared out the whole box of lollipops and made a big dent in the next. I'd say they probably gave out 50 lollipops. The kids *loved* it.
Next we were off to a coffee bean farm and we were able to go inside one of the family's hut. The roof of the hut was hand-woven from bamboo shoots. The craftsmanship was meticulous and the result beautiful. Photo 4 is the hut we went in to, photo 5 is the roof from inside. It was completely dark in there; no sunlight gets in except through the front door, which is about 5 feet tall. The hut is divided into two parts. The back partition is where the parents sleep, photo 6 is their bed. The children sleep anywhere on the floor in the main part of the hut. Oh, yea, and the goats (photo 7). The huts are arranged in a small village style making for quite a peaceful and serene community setting. Photo 8 shows some of the family members who live in this community. For your reference, the hut in these photos would be considered middle class.
We then went to another coffee bean farm. "Coffee bean farm" to me stirs up images of rows of trees planted in a grid-style fashion covering an expansive piece of land. OK, so let's think National Geographic instead. You know, where the elder African American is carrying a tall walking stick walking a narrow mud path through a jungle with a bunch of foreigners behind him? Yea, that picture. That's us (photo 9). We eventually get to a cave in which we learn that the Emperor's daughter lived there for 5 years during the Italian invasion of Ethiopia while the Emperor fled the country (photo 10). Oh, let's go in! So we all scale this 75 degree mud-slicked hill and go into the cave. We crack jokes that in the US it would be roped off with a big "DON'T TOUCH" sign. Oh, we while we're in the jungle, why don't we go see the colobus monkeys. Sure! Photo 11. And after that, let's stop into the little hut restaurant back at the top and have some macchiato (member, that yummy creamy/coffee/chocolate drink?). Did I mention how we found our way to the coffee bean farm/jungle? When we got into the town area before the jungle, our chaperone hopped out of the van and asked a boy on the corner if he knew where it was. He said yes and hopped into the van with us – 11 perfect strangers, 9 of them white – and we were off.
On to Days 3 and 4 quickly-
Day 3, heading back to Addis Ababa from the south – another 5 hour trip to go 71 miles. The farm animal near-misses on the road far outweigh those with people. The pedestrians and drivers have a language all of their own consisting of a good horn and a step to the right. Works fine. The farm animals however, don't seem to quite get it. They either dash suicidally into the road, stopping only as their noses braise the side of the van, or they are already in the middle of the road, standing morbidly still looking as if rigormortus has already set in, and won't move until you nudge them with the front bumper. Did I mention that the animals here are skeletal? On every animal we pass, I can see every rib and every shoulder bone jutting out, even at 50 miles/hr driveby.
Day 4 – back in Addis – museums and shopping. The museums gave us great knowledge of the rich and long Ethiopian history. The shopping, well, is awesome. Their clothes are beautiful and their hand-made artifacts are stunning. And, everything is cheap, dirt cheap (inexpensive, that is). For example, a scarf hand-woven on a loom with intricate details and brilliant iridescent materials costs 40-100 birr, or, $4-10. I've seen these things in stores in the US for $60-100. I got many beautiful things, and it appears it's actually going to fit in the suitcases. Oh yea, for you coffee lovers - whole bean coffee from the Harar region of Ethiopia sells for 46 birr/kg, which converts to about $2/lb. I got 3 kg (6.6lb :)
Will try to write again tomorrow after I get back with Tadi. Hopefully things will go smoothly.
Chloe and Rach – can't wait to see you guys again. I still have your picture and your drawings sitting out here with me. I hope your picture day and pajama day went well! Xo-xo. Love you guys-

The trip south - Day 1 - driving down

2008-09-02T11:03:00.001-07:00

We head out Saturday morning for the trek down south. 9 Americans plus our chaperone plus the driver, 11 people, all pile into one van. No seatbelts. It's a 115km drive (71 miles). It takes us 8 ½ hours to get there. Really. No joke. We did make some stops along the way totaling maybe 3-3 ½ hours. So, call it 5 hours drive time. Really. No joke.

The first few photos, all there is to say is, here it is, life in Ethiopia. The first two photos are a couple representative snapshots of shopping in Ethiopia. If you need fruit, this is what the fruit store looks like. The shoe store is next to it, and the next one is clothes and the next is tires and the next is reclining chairs, and the next is, well, you get it. Anything you want, it's in one of these shanty stores. Which, by the way, are set up like any little village shopping district in any quaint town in USA. You walk to the center of town and shop. You walk back home to your community of tin or mud homes, shown in the next two photos. I guess it's no surprise, but the people here walk everywhere. Droves of people out walking next to, or on, the highway AT ALL TIMES, for every mile of road you pass; it never stops. I think that's the thing that surprised me the most. You don't "drive through" a bad area like in the US. It never stops. You never get out of the "bad part".

We drove for probably 30-40 miles and our chaperone asks if we want to stop and have coffee. Sure! The driver maneuvers the van between three or four goats and pulls up into, well, a row of shanties. "Hhmmm…. Where exactly are we going to have coffee?" we're all thinking. He pulls behind the shanties and out of nowhere pops up this fabulous café on the lawn with a water fountain and flower beds and outdoor seating. Completely crazy. It was better than any café in the US – it had all the ambiance we so desperately try to recreate via Pottery Barn. We order these wonderful coffee drinks, which I suspect translates to "macchiato" here, with coffee, steamed milk, and a pinch of chocolate. Unbelievable. They were awesome. We sit outside in filtered sunlight streaming through a tree with huge orange flower blossoms on it (photo 5).

Back on the road again, more shanties, more people walking, more mud and straw homes. More filth and bare feet and children running around with a shirt and no bottoms. "How 'bout lunch?" Sure! Another surprise fabulous outdoor restaurant behind the row of shanties. After lunch, we participate in a traditional coffee ceremony. The beans are roasted over an open flame (photo 6) then brewed until steaming in a kettle. We pulled our chairs around the ceremony table (photo 7) where they serve it to us with a heavy dose of sugar and popcorn. Uhhh… can I say fabulous again? I've grown highly fond of Ethiopian coffee and the various ways they prepare it. It's pretty much a staple in my diet now.

One of the very best parts of this lunch stop was choosing to step away from the "protected" space for the first time and become part of the population that lives the shanty life. We walked out to the street and starting smiling at people and saying hello. Then we were shaking hands and laughing. Then we were riding on a donkey drawn cart (photo 8). This is my buddy Danny. He is here with his wife Cory to bring home their daughter. I will be forever thankful to Danny for enabling me to experience the Ethiopian people, the real ones who live outside on the streets and in shacks, first hand with a smile and a handshake. He is the one who went unabashedly out to the street, no fear, to say hello. Without him, I would not have had the courage to do it first. And, I would have missed out on the best part of this trip so far. These people are the most warm, open, welcoming, friendly, unbiased, un-racist people I have ever seen. They are also the most accepting. Their lives are what they are and nobody is complaining about it. Nobody is blaming somebody else for what they "should have" or for "who did this to me". Nobody shouts out curses for their fate or shakes a fist at you when you say "no" to their request for a birr (one dime). When they call "White! White!" they do it with a smile and a wave. The most amazing awareness on this trip so far has been learning that I do not have to be afraid. And that has opened a whole new world for me.

Day 1 on the trip south is not done yet! But, now it's time for bed, so I'll finish tomorrow.

More hippo pictures

2008-09-02T08:01:00.001-07:00

OK - I'm trying to add more pics-

The post should (hopefully) be below this one-

The Hippos!

2008-09-02T07:38:00.001-07:00

OK - here is the post I wrote late last night. The internet is still VERY slow; I've been here for 15 minutes and have just finally been able to start typing the email (I post to the blog by sending an email to it). I will try to post one picture of a hippo. If it goes reasonably well, I'll post the rest. If not, I'll try again tonight. So, the blog post references a bunch of pictures that may not be there afterall :(

Here's the hippo post-

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I have many, many things to share with you about our last three days traveling to the southern region, but I must first jump to…. THE HIPPOS!!! Here they are girls!!! They were awesome! We went out to see them where they live in the lake… not in the zoo!! Can you believe it??!! We saw probably 6 or 7 different hippos popping up out of the water at various places. Some of the people in our boat were afraid the hippos would tip our boat, but our driver told us they would not, that they are gentle and if we got too close to them, they would swim away, so we had to stay a little far away from them. I hope you guys like the pictures! I miss you guys so much – I have your picture sitting right here with me and I'm looking at you now. Big hugs. Uncle Ed sends big hugs and kisses too. He misses you!

To get out to the hippos, we had to take a boat. Yes, honestly, that is the boat we took in the picture. If it looks dilapidated, well, that's probably a fairly generous word. We hop in the boat and it's puddled with water on the bottom. Ed is hesitant to get in and our friend Cory says, "It's supposed to be that way. Just get in." So, Ed promptly does. Apparently the water has been then for some time as the bottom is slick with green slimy algae. We start to head out and the tarp canopy falls off on top of us. The guide asks if it's ok if we just take it down, but we refuse, looking to the monstrous, ominous gray clouds ahead of us. We tied it back down and motored off. We noticed the yellow bucket on the bottom of the boat and Ed asks the guide if it's to scoop the water out. Surprisingly, he says, "Yes. I bucket, he steers," pointing to the other guide. And, in fact, he did scoop water out of the boat several times on our little excursion.

We take this boat for about 20 minutes out on the lake and with every wave we hit, the entire side of the boat rattles and the chairs squeak and twist in response. The tarp falls off, again. This time, we leave it down, seeming that we were going to miss the impending storm. Apparently, the function of the tarp was to stabilize the beams to which it was attached because now without it in place, the beams are swaying and rocking in time to the rhythm of the waves.

We did eventually make it back safely. We all discovered that we had each devised a plan of action while on the boat in the event the whole thing disintegrated from underneath us. I had decided I was going to sit on a plank of wood and float. Ed had been trying to figure out how to release the flotation device (i.e., an inner-tube) from the canopy railing. However, none of us were feeling very confident that the thing would actually float.

But, the hippo excursion, boat issues aside, was really fabulous. The scenery around the lake was beautiful; the mountain photo is taken from the point where we stopped to see the hippos. We saw a wedding taking place on the shoreline along the way. And our tour guide was really pretty awesome, telling us cool facts about the lake, and cracking jokes with us. All in all, a great experience.

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We lost power twice in the last 30 seconds. I was trying to add more pictures, but I'll send this off first and hope it gets there. Then, I'll try to add more.

A quickupdate

2008-09-01T22:53:00.001-07:00

Hello All-

I have two posts that I wrote last night, waiting to share them with you, but the internet cafe was closed last night when we got here and is terribly slow today. It will not be able to upload the pictures right now. I will try again this evening after we get back from our day's events. In sum, the trip south was fabulous - more than I could have expected.

Chloe, Rach - sorry you couldn't see the hippo pictures yesterday - I have them here, waiting to post them. Hopefully they will be there when you get home from school. I miss you guys very much. xo-xo

Paradox

2008-08-29T14:17:00.001-07:00

Today we toured the city of Addis Ababa by van. Along the journey I started recording observations in my journal of the various sights and found the paradox of Addis Ababa in many ways. Here is what I saw:

1) The paradox of ramshackle and splendor

Photos 1 and 2 are two views from the window of my hotel room. The first shows the newly reconstructed or under-construction housing units with the skyscraper in the background. The second photo shows a close-up of the little shack sitting adjacent to the building under reconstruction (with the wooden scaffolding). Photo 3 is inside my hotel.

2) The paradox of motor vehicles and farm animals

Sharing the same highway, donkeys hauling monstrous loads of hay while we zoom by in our van (photo 4)

3) The paradox of devastation and beauty

The highway is lined with dilapidated tin-roofed and tarp covered shacks so close to the road that if you hit a puddle as you drove by you'd soak the merchant. A splendid mountainscape rises as the backdrop, blanketed in lush mossy-green grass (photo 5).

4) The paradox of gray/brown and color

Everywhere you go there is filth and dirt and smog, gray and brown. The roads, the cars, the buildings. Spots of color shoot out at you everywhere from bright orange and red tarps covering the shacks, from buildings painted in blue and green and yellow and pink, from the brilliant patterns of colors in the Ethiopian style of dress, and from the city streets polka-dotted with brightly colored umbrellas.

5) The paradox of sweet and pungent

The air around Addis Ababa persistently smells both pungent and sweet in the same breath.

Other fundamental truths I observed today. No matter where you live, affluent USA or impoverished Ethiopia, these seem to be fundamental traits of the human population:

1) Everyone hates to be in the rain. It is the rainy season in Ethiopia right now, and the rain comes down instantly, in buckets. Everyone on the street runs for shelter under a rusty tin roof or a tarp.

2) Everyone loves to shop. We drove through the largest open air market, the Merkato, and the shacks were loaded with shoes and clothes and scarves and jewelry and on and on, piled and piled on top of each other.

3) Young men love to flirt. They were full of little winks and giggles today as we drove around.

A few other fun and interesting things that happened today:

1) Ed turns lemons into lemonade. At lunch today, Ed asked for milk, and got the curious look he always gets followed by the ever present question, "Milk?". Yes, milk. The waiter goes behind the counter and we hear the spewing and spitting sound of a cappuccino machine. Ed gets steamed milk. His follow up question is, "Can I have some cocoa?"

2) I was in a movie scene. You know that scene, whichever movie, you know it anyway, one person driving by in a car catches the eye of another sitting on a curb and they lock gazes until the car is out of sight. I had that today with a man in the Merkato, hanging out with nothing else to do but sit in the rain. We locked eyes, feeling worlds apart from each other, but being only a street away.

3) We thought we were goners. Driving through the craze of the Merkato, people everywhere, beggars approaching the van, crazy men on the corners. As we took photos from open windows, our driver, Sami, warns, "Watch for your camera. There are many thieves here." A time passes and Sami pulls over to the curb, stops the car, shuts it off, hops out and walks away. Without a word. We have no clue what is happening. Beggars and street merchants quickly surround the car and we don't know what to do. We sit. We wait. Confused… *slightly* anxious. Sami finally comes back and says, "This is where you buy the meal tickets." "Ah!" we all say and pile out to purchase meal tickets to hand to the beggars.

Our most favorite thing that happened today – exchanging warm, heartfelt gestures with the Ethiopian people. Amidst all their chaos and grime and poverty and hunger, they are quick to offer a bright warm smile, a thumbs up, a wave, or a peace sign. It was consistent and prevalent around the city. Two young women working on reconstructing a building across the street from our hotel spied me taking pictures out the window and flashed a brilliant smile. I waved. They waved back and blew me kisses. I blew them kisses back and they called to their friends. Three, four, five, six women all smiling, waving, blowing kisses to me. Wonderful, truly wonderful.Hi Chloe and Rachel! Tomorrow morning, we leave Addis Ababa and travel south to visit Tadi's home town. While I am there, I believe I will not have access to the internet, so won't be able to post any notes. I'll be back in Addis Ababa on Monday night… with some hippo pictures for you! I love you guys so much and miss you. Big hugs.

Chicken or Beef?

2008-08-28T14:52:00.001-07:00

Well… first of all… we're here!!! We arrived safe and sound after a 16 hour stint on the plane. My favorite part of the trip was during the third meal that we had on the plane. Two-thirds of the way into the flight, my tray table decides it wants to fall apart and is hanging off the back of the seat in front of me like a loose tooth on a kid or something. Of course this happens right as the flight attendant has me blocked in with the cart and is smiling at me, saying, "Chicken or beef?"

I respond, "I'd like the chicken, but can someone fix my tray please?" She grabs the tray, pulls it, pushes it, twists it unsuccessfully and proceeds to close and latch it. She turns to me with her sparkling brown eyes ever so friendly and her brilliant white smile and says, '"Chicken or beef?"

"Can someone fix my tray please?"

Commence Amharic chatter with the other attendant. She stops, turns to me and says, "Chicken or beef?"

"Can someone fix my tray please?"

"We'll give you a big tray," and plops a tray on my lap.

I just started cracking up. I'll never forget the monstrous grin and, "Chicken or beef?"

Walking out of the airport was an interesting sight. The air was crisp and buzzing with energy and the chatter of large groups of people just hanging around the cars while vans and cars and stretch limos were careening through the crowds and pedestrians. It gave me this amazing feeling of "I love being out of America!" I was so energized. It was like this sensation of breaking all the rules… which we in America happen to be so found of J We packed, literally, into the van and headed to the airport. See photo of the luggage.

I think all the pictures will post first, then the text, so here are the photo captions:

1) View from the window seat of the plane – can see the wing, the ocean, and the land all at the same time

2) A picture of the flight pattern as we watched ourselves hover over Addis Ababa in a loop for about 15 minutes

3) The mileage chart – 29 miles to Addis! – while hovering

4) Picture of the airport from the parking lot

5) The luggage shot

6) The first group photo

Another interesting site was my first glimpse of the paradox that surrounds the city of Addis Ababa – the paradox of old world and new world, of rich and poor. As we were gathering are bags getting ready to deplane, this elder Ethiopian dressed in full traditional attire with flowing white robes and scarves and headdress reaches across her seat and slings a black IBM high performance technology backpack across her shoulders and marches off the plane.

Chloe, Rachel – I miss you guys!!! I hope you are enjoying your time with Aunt Vicky and have a great Friday off tomorrow!! Ethiopia is a pretty cool place. I'm really looking forward to seeing the countryside and trying to capture a picture of a hippo for you!!

Beth

I send my greeting to friends in Hazard, KY, and elsewhere. We are happy to have you traveling with us on our journey through the Ethiopian countryside. It brings added joy to our trip to know that you are with us as we prepare to welcome Tadi into our lives, together with the other families and their adoptive children.

Our trip was long and left some of us with little sleep, especially after we were suddenly awakened at 3:00 am with breakfast carts rolling down the aisle way and all lights on. This occurring after we had been served a late dinner only four hours before. Eventually, the lights went out and some of us got back to sleep.

Also, as we were making our way out of the Ethiopian airport to our vehicles I was quickly approached by a man who spoke to me in Amharic. Of course I had no idea what he was trying to say to me, so I simply said the first words which came to mind: "not at this time." I guess it worked because I heard him say okay as he left.

Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers as you are in mine as we continue on this blessed journey with our Lord.Bro. Ed

1 Hour of Flying Down

2008-08-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

15.5 more to go :)

We're in DC! With a 50 pounds per checked bag limit, we made it with my bags weighing in at:
first bag..... 49lbs
second bag..... 49.5lbs
third bag... 51.5lbs!

for a grand total of 150lbs. They let the 1.5lb overage slide on the one bag which saved me $125... or in reality, some cute little toys for the babies at the orphanage that I didn't have to pull out to make weight. Here's the cargo load before departure. We are each sitting on one of the bags. (ps - we didn't take Angus :)

Next stop - Addis Ababa!

Chloe and Rachel - I brought your pictures with me that you drew this morning and a photo of you both. I'm so glad to have them as I miss you guys so much already! Uncle Ed too! Here comes a big hug from us:

Love you Matt - miss you-

Room Completed

2008-08-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures of Tadi's completed room - wallies and all:

Off to finish the photo album

Here's to hoping it's not another 2am night tonight...

Oh, how could I forget, a picture of the necklaces I made for the women:

Chow-

test email to blog - a little boy's room

2008-08-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

OK - here's my test post to see if I have figured out how to email to my blog while in ET.

I've attached the next photo in the series of Tadi's room remodeling series. The furniture came today, and a wonderful friend of mine brought over a gift that she and her children picked out for Tadi. A Wall E book and an ABC/animal toyset which will help Tadi learn his ABC's. It's on the desk. Thanks!! If there were any concern that it was too young... my 6 and 4 yr olds love it... :-)

Last, but not least, I'll put the jungle wallies up. To be continued...

Click, Click, Click....

2008-08-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Rollercoaster fan?? If so, you know the "Click, Click" I'm talking about. My friends recently took their kids to Busch Gardens and retold a story of a new coaster they braved. 90 degree vertical drop..... yes, 90 degree, i.e., STRAIGHT down. Not only is it a STRAIGHT down descent, if you are so daring to sit the front car, you first suspend OVER the vertical drop for 5 seconds - repeat OVER - mid air - nothing under you.

As of yesterday morning, I am living in a perpetual "Click, Click". I am engulfed in the crazy dichotomy of excitement and anxiety as I make my final preparations for the trip to Ethiopia. Yesterday, for me, marked the first day of my travel journey, precipitated by my last day of work last Friday until October 6. In my brain, I had been planning this Monday to begin the last hoorah of travel prep, and when I awoke, my brain already knew it. Heart pounding, hands trembling, short/constricted breaths. Seriously, continuing now for two days in a row. Initially I thought it was the Embassy paperwork, when I realized I could be sitting on the couch eating bon-bons and probably feel the same way.

So, I'm now envisioning living in "Click, Click" until next Wednesday - Plunge Day - suspending the top and then plummeting down the other side when I hop on that plane. Simultaneously expelling the previous week's anxiety in a gush of relief, and yet realizing that the 22 hour journey to my destination is but another beginning of the next "Click, Click".

Surprise

2008-08-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

We THOUGHT we were going to a neighborhood friend's surprise birthday party this past Sunday. It was at our community rec center clubhouse, so Matt and I and the girls spent a few hours at the pool then got showered in the locker rooms. One of my very 'bestest' friends was checking in on me, making sure I was not getting ready too quickly, or too slowly.... duh, hello. No clue that she was pacing me for a surprise party for Tadi and our family. I walked in the room and there were 80 people.... 160 eyes.... all staring at me. Gasp! "What the heck??? Why is Michele pointing that video camera at me?!"

"SURPRISE!!!!!"

"Huh?"

"Beth, the party is for YOU! It's for YOU!"

"Huh?"

"It's for YOU!!!"

"What!!! OH!!!" Cry, cry, cry!

Completely totally amazing. I was shell-shocked, in tears, and stunned by the number of families who came to support us on our journey. I was bowled over to realize how openly and lovingly our neighborhood will accept Tadi into our community when he comes home. I'm feeling very fortunate these days.

I don't have any pictures yet, but when I get some, I will post them.

Traveling Aug 27

2008-07-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

Travel dates are confirmed. My brother Ed is traveling with me; we leave from DC on Wednesday evening, Aug 27, arriving Thursday evening in Addis! We will be making a 3 day trip to southern Ethiopia to tour the countryside and visit Tadi's birth home town. I'm very excited about this! During the following week, we will first pick up Tadi, then be chaperoned to various activities (TBD) apply for and collect his visa at the US Embassy, and head back home Friday night, Sep 5, arriving Sat afternoon!!

Can't believe this time is finally here. We have waited so long, and I know these next few weeks are going to fly by...

:-)

And finally.... the Green Mountains

2008-07-29T16:36:00.001-07:00

Here's Tadi's room with the paint finished! The sky, mountains, and earth are all represented.

After we get the furniture in it, then I'll put the jungle wallies on!

An interesting piece of info we got yesterday - Tadi's name was recorded as Tadi Matthew Luneke instead of Tadi Mesfin Luneke on the court documents. A big surprise for both me and Matt, and one that we are both particularly fond of. :-)

Blue Sky

2008-07-24T21:18:00.001-07:00

Before our referral, when I had myself convinced that we would not travel until year-end, Tadi's room remodeling activity took a back burner to, well, just life in general :-) Well, fortunately, that has had to change.... quickly. Matt and I are amazingly good at getting ourselves into "crunch mode". We've got about a month to get everything done. So, that being said, it's midnight and I just finished painting the sky in Tadi's Ethiopian countryside room:

I can say at least that I had the atypical sense to start packing early on. I'm actually nearly done and very glad for that because it was a HUGE job. I've got two suitcases filled with donations, a suitcase and a carry-on for my and Tadi's stuff, and a backpack with various other things.

The green mountain and tree-line will be next....

Tadi Mesfin Luneke

2008-07-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Here is our son!

His name is pronounced "Teddy", so we are keeping it, and keeping his last name as his middle name. Tadi Mesfin Luneke. Cute, huh? :-) Tadi turned 3yrs old on June 22, 2008. We had a little party for him on the day:

This is the only picture we have of him so far. If we get more before travel, I will share.

We are all very excited and blessed to officially be a family of five. The girls asked yesterday after we got the phone call if I was leaving today to go bring him home. So sweet. I have been truly amazed and in awe of the girls' ability to love this little brother of theirs whom they have not yet met. The capacity of children is truly beyond our awareness on a daily basis.

Will continue to post as things unfold from here!

We passed court!!

2008-07-23T15:25:00.001-07:00

Hi all-

Just a quick note to let you know we passed court today!! No time to write much now, just that we are exceptionally happy to have our little guy officially part of our family. Pictures will follow tomorrow.

Got the news as we were heading into the radiology lab; Chloe fractured her arm falling off a skateboard today.... Kim continues with the good timing on the phone calls :-)

Thank you everyone for all the love and support along the way.

Beth, Matt, Chloe, Rachel and Tadi Luneke

Ethiopian Cross

2008-07-22T18:52:00.001-07:00

I've been wanting to get a cross pendant for some time. I'm really not the gold cross on a gold chain type of person and it's fairly difficult to find something that's sort of cool and funky but doesn't throw you over into a "gothic grunge queen" look when you wear it. We took a great trip to the mountains this past weekend and did some shopping in this great college/hippy/retro mountain town called Boone. I happen to be a bit of a bead fanatic.... beads, like beading necklaces beads... so had to hit this store called "Grateful Grounds" which is a coffee and bead shop together (seriously... what could be better). Lo! Matt calls me over to this casing which is housing nothing but.... a collection of Ethiopian crosses. Really, truly, unbelievable. We both get one. He takes the substantially less stressful approach of asking the hippy-chick behind the counter for a rope to hang it on and has her clasp it for him. Not me... I have a *great* idea of buying red, yellow, and green beads and beading a necklace which has a real Ethiopian look about it. Well, about an HOUR and 400-questions-from-my-kids later, I finally have the beads I need, including a strand of these fabulous Ethiopian metal ring beads. The finished product is here and I have to say, I really love it:

And here is a close-up of the Ethiopian cross:

I'll be wearing it all day tomorrow-

7.13.08

2008-07-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

God called me to my garden this morning. I sat in the grass beside Crosby’s memorial maple tree and cried. He was there with me; I heard Him in the birds and crickets; I felt Him in the breeze. I felt Him help me release the trapped sorrow.

I sat in a chair and looked around at all the plants and flowers. I noted which ones were thriving and which were not under the conditions in which they were planted and which resources were available to them; how much water, how much sunlight each received relative to how much of each of those every unique plant needs. God showed me that sometimes where they are planted is just not a good match.

God brought my children to me in the garden. He allowed me to see their splendor and radiance emanating from their faces in a way that escapes us on most days. God is great. God is good.

7.11.08

2008-07-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

What of this sorrow that halts you where you stand, gripping the counter to bend over and cry? What of this sorrow that tears through your body, ripping away your energy leaving you exhausted, yet still deprives you of sleep? What of this sorrow that batters your head with thoughts of “why” and clouds the view to the heart which answers that same question?

What of this willingness to allow, no, to teach myself to feel so deeply? To allow that gripping sadness to wash over me and spend my body, my mind. To trust that the washing is a cleansing of my head so that once again I can hear my heart with the clarity and purity of the tone of a crystal glass.

That day will come, for me, for my friend. But for now, I cry with her.

Court Date

2008-07-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

We got it.... 7/23! So far, there are three families with that date. Hoping the others get it too!!

This one took me by big surprise. First, it came fairly quickly - 18 days after the referral. Second, it ended up being the same date as my friend Heather's even though she had received her date the previous week. I found myself suspecting there was an error, that the date really wasn't 7/23, and maybe they just wrote the wrong one accidentally (I was notified of the court date via email...). I found myself needing to confirm the date with our agency before I started spreading the news. Well, it was confirmed, we are official... and we are praying for a successful date!!!

One other good thing, the court closure is scheduled for Aug 8, so that gives us two weeks to get a second court date if necessary. That actually gives me ALOT of relief.

One BIG step closer to bringing home our son!!

Integration

2008-06-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

Integrating our son-to-be into my family in my mind.... that's what this post is about. I had read from so many other families that the waiting for court date and waiting for travel is so much harder than waiting for a referral. So far, not so hard.... at all. It could be because we've been obnoxiously busy.... in-laws moved into town from MI last weekend.... I'm training 5 day class this week... kids are in swimming lessons after school.... etc, etc. But, for me, so far it's be a great opportunity to move my brain from "the land of surreal" to "the reality of a family of 5". It's been such an amazing experience.

The morning after we got our referral, I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day, and thought to myself, "I wonder if we'll get him." Stop, pause, "Wait!!! We got him! He's ours!" I had this feeling at first like he might be ours, or he might be another family's. What a different feeling to know that no, he is NOT going to another family. Ever since then, I've been moving through the surreal-ness of it onto the knowing of it, processing the reality that we are (or soon to be) a family of 5. Moving away from the anxiety of waiting, to the confidence of knowing. Assuming we get into courts before they close.... the three months of moving from referral to court to travel feels like a rocket ship - almost like I need to start scrambling already - after having waited almost 7 months for the referral. I can handle this. If we go to Oct/Nov court date.... then I'm sure there will be another post for how *HARD* it is to wait...

His timing is perfect

2008-06-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'll jump to the punch line first.... we got our referral yesterday, Thursday, June 12!!!!

Here's our story:

After the email from Kim (our adoption caseworker) on Wednesday evening confirming that some of the children did arrive in Addis safely that day, I totally set myself up expecting a call first thing Thursday morning (because Heather's came at 9am :). 9am comes and goes; 10am, 11am, nothing. 12pm, 1pm... at 2pm, I was on my way with Rachel to see Chloe perform in a "Little Piggies" play at school (she was one of the piggies... totally adorable). I decided on the drive over that I was not going to let "getting the call" consume me during the play, that this was Chloe's time, so I put my phone to vibrate and was planning to put my purse in Chloe's cubby. As Rach and I were walking down the hall to her classroom, the handles of my purse "buzz, buzzed" in my hands. I stopped, paused for a sec, and then pulled the phone out. 616 area code. OH MY GOSH!!! The call goes something like this:

"Hello (?)" I answer.

"Hi Beth. This is Kim"

"Hi" (hesitant pause)

"How are you?"

"Fine" (hesitant pause)

"Do you have a few minutes?"

"Is this the call??!!" I blurt out.

"Yes".

I go completely stunned. No matter how much I prepared for it, thought about it, replayed it in my head, when the call came, I was completely bowled over. I was completely unable to formulate a question, like, "What's his name?'. Instead, I tell Kim that I'm just about to walk into my daughter's "Little Piggy" performance, can I call her back in about an hour? Can you believe it??? Call her back??? Duh! She says "Sure". But, being the sane one, she starts sharing the details anyway, name, health, age, etc. I ask her whether his info will be in my email when I get home. "Yes," she says. I hung up and right then one of my very best friends walked up and said, "Hey, how's it goin?" Amazing. Big Hugs.

Then, I'm sitting in the classroom, in one of those teeny Kindergarden chairs, and the room is getting all hot and crowded with parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, all squishing in. I keep watching the door, DYING for Matt to come in. It was like everything was in slow motion or something. He finally comes in, and it takes *FOREVER* for him to work his way through the crowd over to us. I tell him in his ear that we got the call, then burst into tears. He's got the dazed "I'm pregnant" daddy-to-be look. Ha!!

Prior to this, over the course of Wed and Thurs, I had been very preoccupied about what to do when the call came. I was torn between having to choose between wanting to see his picture "NOW" and wanting to see his picture for the first time together as a family, meaning not until 6pm that evening. Well, His timing is perfect. With me, Rach, and Daddy all at Chloe's play, we were able to hop onto one of the classroom computers, logon to my email, and see his picture for the first time together as a family. Really wonderful. Then Chloe said, "Can I get another brownie?!" Ha! A couple other of my very good friends were also there, so we were able to share with them too. Many tears and hugs.

One thing we had been hopeful for was to be able to keep his given birth name, especially because he is a little older and would be already very aware of his name. Well, He also provided for us this way too. Our whole family really likes his given name; we are planning to keep his first and last names as his first and middle names. The little guy is very healthy; his medical report was really fabulous.

We love him so much already. We couldn't be more on the fringe of making/missing court; we are seven weeks exactly to July 31 from our referral date. We'll see what God's plans are for us on this one :-)

Thank you all for your wonderful friendship and support during our journey so far. It would have been a much different experience without the support of our family, friends, and the Yahoo Group. We really appreciate it.

With love-
Beth

Earth Brown Paint

2008-05-14T11:08:00.001-07:00

Here's the first color for Jr's room - the earth brown paint. The color was actually called "Warm Earth".

My sister had an idea for Chloe and Rachel to put their hand prints on the wall, so we did it! We tried to make heart shapes, but I'm not quite sure we succeeded at that.

I think the blue paint, the sky, will be next.

The Befores

2008-05-11T17:52:00.001-07:00

Jr.'s bedroom remodeling has begun in earnest (we are waiting until we learn his given name before we decide whether we will change it, so we call him "Jr."). When our girls, Chloe and Rachel, first learned about their brother-to-be, they decided on a jungle theme for his bedroom. We found a great set of "Wallies", the wall-stick-ons, in a jungle theme and the girls have been *very* anxious to stick them up. But, we hadn't painted the walls yet. We had some trouble trying to figure out the right color to use, then Matt had quite a clever idea to do stripes. So, the paint on the walls will be earth-brown on the bottom half, for the Ethiopian countryside, green in the middle section for the trees, and blue on the top for the sky. Pretty cool.

To start the new, we had to get rid of the old. The bedroom used to function as my office (I work from home alot) and the girls used to come in and draw pictures on my yellow sticky pad then stick them on the wall. After some time, we had gathered quite a collection of these yellow-sticky-pad drawings. They've been up on the wall for more than a year now. So, with a little sadness, the yellow-sticky drawings came down today. Otherwise, it is a plain-as-plain-can-be room, painted in builder-off-white-flat, with no charm. So, these make the *perfect* before photos, because anything will make the room look better. Here's the pics, with a couple close-ups of the girls drawings.

All the yellow sticky pictures:

Some close-ups:

Rachel writing her name at 3yrs old:

Scarlet chillin' on my yoga floor (like the Christmas bows? Yea, it was a really stylin' room)

Chloe marking off the 48" height for the brown-earth paint:

Rachel's version of helping: blowing steam on the window and drawing in it :-)

The brown earth paint is underway... more pics to follow soon.

How deep does it go?

2008-05-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

On a rare occasion, I am given a glimpse of the depths from which the emotion of waiting for a child truly derives. When you can but look at a photo of someone else's baby, read a word of someone else's blog, and the tears flow not from the eyes, but from the abyss of the endless heart, then you know. I am simultaneously experiencing a sorrow so profound, and a fascination so naive, to realize how deeply someone can actually feel. It is a good sorrow, and a good fascination. A sorrow that let's me know how trying this process truly is. A fascination that lets me know I can still see things through the eyes of a child, with wonder and awe and respect. Both giving the realization that it's ok to be in this funk.

#5 - The Grand Finale

2008-04-25T06:45:00.001-07:00

OK - here's the Grand Finale, like the end of a fireworks show. Below is a series of really nice photos my friend took. Thanks for sticking around for my silly antics the last few days.

Yesterday was a particularly nice day here in NC. I was fortunate to be working from home, so I had my lunch on the back deck. For the last couple months, I've been religiously carrying the phones around with me (cell and home phone) in case the call comes. Yesterday, as I was carrying my lunch outside, I thought, "oh, get the phones!". Then, I stopped. I decided to leave the phones right where they were. I've been waffling between whether I have truly come to a point of acceptance about it, or if it is more of a defeat position I have taken. I don't feel worn out and exhausted by it, so I'm leaning toward acceptance. It is what it is.

Namaste- (I bow to the divine in you)
Beth

#4 Prayer Poses

2008-04-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

How 'bout if I pray behind my back??? Will *the call* come???

Or on my head???

Parsvottanasana (pars vo tahn ah sah nah) and Uttana Padasana (oot ah na pahd ah sah nah), respectively. For some reason, these poses do not have common English names that are used regularly. But, the hand position in the first pose is, in fact, called reverse prayer. So, there you have it. A couple extra prayers for today.

And, a couple extra prayers for those families traveling now (or very, VERY soon... like tomorrow :-).

#3 - Backbend

2008-04-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

I'm a slinky, slinky, for fun it's best as a toy
I'm a slinky, slinky, the favorite of girls and boys

No, I didn't really know all the words to the jingle. I found the 1960's first run version of the commercial on the internet so that I could get the correct lyrics.

Today's pose is Urdhva Dhanurasana (oord vah DAHN oor ah sah nah). Backbend. One benefit of this pose is to shift our awareness from the front of our body, in which we primarily reside, to the back of the body. To me this means increasing our conscious awareness (to include that which is behind us) which is the primary vehicle of spiritual growth

I hope I don't have too many more of these posts ahead of me... Beth P. offered maybe mid-end of May for the next referrals... I realize that my 6-month timeframe is end-May, but I haven't quite set my mind on that much longer to wait. I probably should work on resetting my expectations.... again. And I probably won't subject you to these posts for that long... :-)

#2 - Warrior Pose

2008-04-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

The traditional language of the type of yoga I practice, Ashtanga yoga, is Sanskrit. The name of today's pose in Sanskrit is "Virabhadrasana" which translates to "Warrior Pose". It may not be as impressive to look at as yesterday's headstand (aka, Sirsasana), but I thought it was fitting as it is the pose of strength. I'm thinking we could all use a little extra strength in these trying days.

Virabhadrasana (Warrior Pose) = Veer-uh-buh-drah-sah-nah

Sirsasana (Headstand) - Sheer-shah-sah-nah

How do you pass the time....

2008-04-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

So, if you haven't noticed a trend with my blogs, I'll come right out and say it. I sort of like to take jabs at myself as comedic relief for the why-the-heck-are-the-referrals-taking-so-looooonnnggg problem. So, here we go again...

I don't know the formally documented date on my adoption papers that I "officially" started the waiting process, but I've always been operating under Nov 21 as that date. That makes today the 5 month marker exactly, to my approximate date. I wanted to offer a little visual exploration of how I keep the anxiety and helplessness of the situation at bay. Here you go:

This is me, doing a headstand (really?). One of the many wonderful photos a super-duper friend of mine captured for me during a yoga session/photo shoot. I'm thinking maybe I'll post one of these things everyday until *the call* comes. Sort of like the squeaky-wheel-gets-the-oil approach.

OK - comedy aside - this is really the answer to the question when people ask how I'm managing it. Yoga keeps all the egocentric emotions (anxiety, stress, depression, obsessing, etc.) stabilized and quiet so that the path in the heart, laid out by God, can be observed. It is how I got to the path of adoption from Ethiopia, and it is how I trust and live in the awareness that His timing is perfect.

I look forward to rejoicing with each of you as God's timing for your referral comes.

Let me count the ways...

2008-04-15T11:44:00.001-07:00

Wow - it's been almost two months since my last post. Over the entire two months, I have been sitting on the edge of "soon". Sparing y'all the ghory details... I'll jump right to the "why I have to laugh at myself" stuff. How many ways, scenarios, stories, can one envision that *the call* will come. Here, let me start the count. Please, anyone, pick up where I've left off with your own realities.

(Insert appropriate sing-songy clueless voice...)

1) I *know* it's going to come just as I'm entering this meeting with my super-exec super-high-stress client. What shall I do when I see AAI on the caller ID? Is it appropriate to excuse myself? Do I feign that the call was not important and become completely preoccupied for the rest of the meeting, making this man think I'm a total space-cadet?

2) OK, I've got the house phone and the cell phone lined up on the little vanity table which I pulled right close to the shower door so that I can see the caller ID through the glass. I *know* it's going to come right after I get my hair all lathered up with bubbles. Do I rinse first? Do I get out dripping wet and sudsy and ask "would you please, please hold for a minute?" Do I get out and attempt to get situated while speaking to the caseworker? Oh... just let me get these bubbles rinsed out first.

3) My sister came in for a surprise visit for my birthday! Wow - we are all unexpectedly home on a Monday: me, Matt, Chloe, Rachel, and my sister Vicky who is traveling to ET with me! This *must* be the day. There has to be a special reason for us all to be together.

4) I'm running to the bus stop to get Chloe. I *know* it's going to come in the 10 minutes that I'll be gone. I better check the voice messages when I get back.

5) Wow! Mom&Dad-in-law are here the Monday after the latest two referrals came in! What a coincidence! This *must* be a special day (again)! It will come today while we are all together, home from work and school.

6) I'm traveling to MI for a long weekend to help my sister paint her house (p.s. - see "number of rooms I've painted" in my "10 things about me" post... and add three to it :-). I'm leaving on Friday morning, so I better call home and check the messages 500 times. I *know* it's going to come while I'm not home with my family. What a bummer - but there must be a reason for it!

7) I *know* it's going to come just as I am writing this silly post. Wouldn't that be just too ironic.

Guess what... wrong again...

:-)

A good thing out of control

2008-02-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

I decided that I would start a neighborhood collection drive for items to donate to Enat Alem (the orphanage in Ethiopia) based on the wish list they recently submitted. I've quickly realized that I am likely to be well overstocked with many more goods than I am able to carry with me on my trip. I had so many emails this morning with well wishes and intentions to donate, that I was just choking back the tears. I'm finding myself concerned today about how I am actually going to get everything over there now. I have to go back to what I know, what I have had faith in through this whole adoption process, to let go of my concerns and fears and know that a path will be shown to me as I search options and look for a solution.

I want to send my sincerest thank you and appreciation to those who have responded to the request for assistance.

On another note... I started the round of immunizations today. Youch. Two in each arm, so far. I've decided that their question "Which hand do you write with" in their effort to select the *best* arm to poke is in serious need of modification. As I blankly responded "Right" and the poking began, I was desperately wanting to say "Left! I carry my children in my left arm!" I mean, how much arm-effort does writing take, anyway? Especially in today's computer age? Carrying a 4 or nearly-6yr-old child however, is worthy of consideration on the arm-effort scale.

:-)

10 Things About Me

2008-02-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have not been specifically tasked to do this, but since it’s been sooooo long since I’ve posted, and I generally don’t like to post unless I have something out-of-my-daily-routine to post, I’ve decided to take upon myself that “something about me” list. I’ve seen both kinds, i.e., “something about me”, and “quirky things about me”, so I’ve divided mine in half to cover both.

Some things about me:

1) I practice yoga. Ashtanga yoga. This is a kind of yoga that you are panting like a dog 5 minutes into the session… oh yea, and there’s only 85 more minutes to go. My teacher recently advanced my practice to include additional poses from the advanced series, so now that 85 more minutes to go is actually 100. I can put my feet behind my head…. both of them…. without assistance.

2) I am an introvert. No, not the software geek in the corner pushing up her glasses kind (errr…. I do actually do software deployment consulting…). I am an introvert by the technical definition; those who replenish their energy from inside. Extroverts, by contrast, replenish energy ‘externally’… imagine that. They are energized by socializing; introverts are depleted by socializing. That’s me. Depleto. This causes all those behaviors that people *hate*. “You never call me” (that’s because it depletes me…). Only when I find that right person who exchanges an even amount of energy with me, can I seek out their company. And then I enjoy it immensely.

3) I’m from a family of nine children. Nine, yes. I’m number eight. It’s always good to make sure you have a number wherever you are in life; it’s the American way. My parents had 5 boys first, then 4 girls. We are a fabulous case study in birth order phenomena; the repetition in personality traits from the first to third boys maps exactly to that of the first to third girls. Amazing. PS – I’m the third girl.

4) I have painted at least 44 rooms, off the top of my head. We have lived as a married couple in IL, NY, VT, CA, MA, and now NC. We have painted nearly every room in each home we purchased, one in every state. I have the painting pants that I wore almost every time; they are one of my most treasured possessions.

5) I am taking a course to learn to write children’s literature. I’ve recently discovered my love of writing, and well, I pretty much love children, so Voila! I’ll certainly have something to post when/if I am ever published.

Quirky things about me

1) We have ten pillows on our bed. My husband *hates* it. I don’t remake the bed after he does… sorry Stephanie.

2) I have bought so many gifts to bring to ET that I don’t know how I’m going to pack them all. Have you seen the $1 section at Target??? They have some amazing stuff in there for a buck. It’s like, how can I not get this for “fill in the blank”. It’s a BUCK!

3) Food-touching-each-other aversion. The best invention EVER are plates with separators.

4) I love to be barefoot. Always, everywhere. It’s the thing I hate most about winter; I can’t be barefoot even in the house or my toes are like chunks of ice.

5) I love all things psychotherapeutic. I originally thought this would go in the “Some things about me” section until I realized that I probably fall into a very small percentile with this one. I read books about the psychology of communications, emotional availability/responsibility/etc, psychology of children, and books that span the theoretical/spiritual/philosophical range. Eat ‘em up…

So, the standard practice is now to tag someone else. My very dear (equally-energy-exchanging-friend) Heather, you are it. (I don’t think you’ve already done one…)

Stop the synaptic overfiring...

2008-01-15T10:34:00.000-08:00

I decided to tell myself in a dream the other night that (insert appropriate dream voice here) "we would know by Thursday or Friday". Of course "know" meaning our getting our referral. I decided to deliver this message to myself by creating a visual image of Kurt, our case worker, (ps - I've never seen Kurt - I have no idea what he looks like) and allowing Kurt to deliver the "message" to me in this dream. When I awoke in the morning, it was pretty clear that this brain activity was a ripple effect from another adoptive family's news , the Eggers, that they would hear "soon". However, I still allowed that one little ounce of "maybe" seep in and thought, just maybe, the "message" was bigger than brain waves. Maybe it was a *real* message. (I have to laugh). So now I'm daydreaming like "Maybe it will come; we're the only ones waiting for a 2 yr old. And maybe it's that beautful little boy in the blue shirt from Denise's pictures. He looks like he's about two. Or maybe the one next to him, but he looks a little older", like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" daydreaming in front of his teacher about his Red Rider Bee Bee gun (with a compass and a stock and this thing that tells time...). SCREEEEECH...... freeze frame on the daydream. Then, I get a notice that our case will transition from Kurt to Kim on Feb 1. So, I get a very nice note of introduction from Kim, and in the very end she says, "I'll contact you in early Feb to see how things are going." Translation: "You won't be hearing from us before February". A cackling, "You'll shoot your eye out, You'll shoot your eye out" becomes Kim dressed up as a witch and Kurt as a jester waving a photo of the boy in blue, sneering "You have to wait. You have to wait". (Man, that cracks me up).

The good thing in the end, is that Ralphie does eventually get his bee bee gun... :-)

When things go quiet....

2008-01-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

So much for the blissful state of patiently waiting for a referral. Now that the buzz of the holidays is behind us and the craze of remodeling the cabin is past, the anxiety and expectation for *thee phone call* from Kurt is on the rise. Especially since I went through a little "who's waiting for what" activity this morning. As far as I can tell, everyone who is waiting is waiting for an infant, and mostly girls. This makes me think, "Hmmm, maybe I'm top of the list for those waiting for two year old boys" and "Hmmm, maybe that means it'll be sooner than three months" and "Hmmm.... THE PHONE'S RINGING.... GET IT!!!" :-)

I am seriously, seriously, loving watching the Bryant's and the Kikstras travel right now. It really has inspired me to make an effort to have internet while I'm over there. The pictures are just enrapturing - I would like to share this with those who will be watching us.

For now.... just waiting... ho-hum...

Happy New Year to all-

I am still alive...

2007-12-19T17:58:00.001-08:00

It's been a month, to date, since my last post. There is really, seriously, nothing to say during the waiting phase. On top of that, in addition to my regular part time job, I've accepted two consulting jobs, so I've been particularly busy and the whole family balance was out of kilter while we readjusted. So, no posts.

Our dossier arrived in Ethiopia in the recent past - I don't even have the exact arrival date from Kurt. I guess probably because I didn't specifically ask for it when I had asked if it arrived. Ask a generic question, get a generic answer. I don't have a clue how many people are in front of us, again, something I did not ask. I've set my mind on 3-4 months wait for a referral. If I know I'm something like third or fifth or whatever, that might throw my expectations out of whack and cause an otherwise dormant anxiety about waiting into a tailspin, crashing at the bottom into a flurry of butterflies in my chest at every ring of the phone. In this case, I am truly living by ignorance is bliss. Come end of February (the 3 month mark), it'll be a different story.

In the interim, I am so fabulously enjoying the pictures of all the children recently, or soon to be, home. These children are really amazingly beautiful. Congratulations to everyone-

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to all-

Doggie Adoption Complete

2007-11-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

Here is the newest member of our family, Angus!

It's been a fairly arduous process. I guess I mistakenly assumed that dogs who need homes would be easy to come by. Apparently this adorable little guy falls into the "not-so-adoptable" bucket because he is (1) all black (2) a male and (3) a mixed breed (chow/lab mix). Seems odd to me because he is beautiful, cute, cuddly, playful, mild-tempered, and smart. At three months old, he already knows his name and several commands. He is crate trained and has not yet had an accident in the house. We love him already!

On the *real* adoption front, pretty much just waiting. Our dossier made it through DC and back to AAI in one week. I was amazed. I was delinquent in getting our passport photos shipped out to Kurt, so did that this weekend. I expect the dossier to be off to Ethiopia this week.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

It's off....

2007-11-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

The dossier went out to the US Dept of State today. I almost made a substantial mistake last Friday of sending the notarized "true copy" of the I-171H without having it sealed. Yikes! Fortunately, I made a last minute review of the document from AAI and caught it (I was actually IN the UPS store ready to ship it...). So, I packed up and drove down to the NC Sec of State instead. I picked up the sealed document today, and off it went.

Matt started the room prep activity this weekend. (Thanks hun!) We had two home-offices set up as Matt and I were both working from home when we first moved to NC. He is now back in an office, so we are consolidating two offices into one, and turning my office back to a bedroom. The girls are still planning for a jungle theme for their little brother, so I'll have to come up with a creative design.

Now, I'll be furiously tracking the package through its stages of progress via UPS online...

3 Amazing Things

2007-11-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

1) The ability of our bodies to perform functions which are intended to protect us-
Yesterday, when I received the I-171H I was literally numb. I could not feel anything. To any onlooker, it would have appeared as indifference. What I realized later was that the numbness was my body's response to protecting me from an acute and substantial flood of emotion. It literally just shut down and said "nope, we're gonna keep this at bay".

2) A friend you trust to the core of your soul-
When, a half hour later, I had to actually speak the words, not just a post a blog, "We got our visa today", to one of my most wonderful friends, that she would be there to embrace me as my contained emotion burst from my chest onto her shoulder in a flood of gasps, tears, and broken words. Relief, happiness, awe, all in her arms.

3) Becoming parents again-
In the evening, Matt and I shared the joy, the excitement, the dreams of becoming parents once again. Matt shared with me his visions of watching a young boy unfold and observing the awe and wonder of the world through a child's eyes. We talked about providing a "better" life for a child; not better in terms of inherent happiness as even in the orphanages, children in Ethiopia are clearly happy. But better in terms of where the child's struggles will exist. A friend of mine commented to me, upon learning of our adoption, that the child will struggle in his teen years for an identity. I offered back that I thought it was better to struggle for an identity than for his next meal. On Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the child will have advanced from basic food/shelter/clothing to social needs. This is what we mean by "better". We talked about how getting this piece of paper, and me calling Matt to tell him about it, was amazingly similar in nature to the "I'm pregnant" phone call. The emotional ride follows the same tracks and we are amazingly excited with the confident expectation of growing our family through adoption.

Thank you all for the wonderful comments to my post yesterday. Your excitement and happiness for us is very apparent and that means so much to me. Thank you. To answer the question in most of the comments about the dossier, as soon as I hit "Publish Post", I'm off to the UPS store to send it out to the US Dept of State. I'm hoping that 2-3 weeks after that, it's off to Ethiopia!

I've got the golden ticket...

2007-11-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

It's here. Our I-171H. Oh wow. Please don't mind my apparent lack of enthusiasm. I'm one of those people that gets real quiet and still instead of real loud and energetic when something really amazing happens.

5 1/2 months in the process, including a one month delay to send in a revised home study. We've actually been approved for 2 children even though I had only put one on the application. Our home study agent sent her approval for 2 children, so apparently that's how they wrote our document.

Probably more later - the document is still burning in my hand, my brain is a *bit* stunned, and I haven't spoken with Matt yet (although I did try to call him - he's in an all-day training class today).

Oh happy day...

Update to the waiting post...

2007-10-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

Baby steps... our revised home study went in the mail today to USCIS. Our home study agent said we should hear from them "quickly". Maybe my Halloween *treat*?

We are Changing the World

2007-10-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

“Adopting a child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."

This is really a wonderful quote that I’ve seen various places. As is my normal state of being, I started thinking about this quote. (I think… a lot). It occurred to me that in fact we are changing the world, with each and every adoption. The difference in the reality of changing the world for one child vs. that of changing the world is only in the distinction of the rate of change each is realizing. In the United States and other affluent countries, we are highly accustomed to things happening at 500 bazillion “whatevers” per second. Fast food, fast cars, fast computers; fast computers which lead to fast everything: fast shopping, fast shipping, fast communicating, fast, fast, fast. For the one (or several) child(ren) we adopt, their lives change at this 500 bazillion rate. However, changing the world is evolutionary. “Fast evolution” is an oxymoron. Evolution is organic; evolution happens at a snail’s pace when viewed from a single lifetime, so much so that it appears non-existent day-to-day. But let’s think back 50 years – within the course of one lifetime.

50 years ago, our country was still living under the laws of segregation. Segregation seems ludicrous to me today. When I read to my children books about Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks, it feels as if I’m transporting back to some far away time, and then I’m struck with the reality that this was well into the lifetime of my parents. My parents were young adults, married, starting their family, when segregation ended. In 50 years, we have evolved to the understanding of the absurdity of segregation.

What about 100 years before that, ~1850? Less than two lifetimes? Our country was still fighting for abolishment of slavery. Yes, that’s right, abolishment. One hundred and fifty years ago, our society was not yet fully consciously aware of the amorality of slavery. This was an evolutionary process spanning about ¾ of a century, pioneered in the (very) late 1700’s.

And what about 300 years before that? Human sacrifice.

Within 500 years time, human society has evolved from human sacrifice to slavery to segregation to pioneering the end of starvation and disease around the world. What will seem absurd in 50 years as our grandchildren are growing? That people 50 years ago were starving to death? I hope so. For each child we adopt, we are pioneering that effort. For each mission trip that volunteers make, for each barrel of food and supply of medicine that people send, they pioneer this effort. Evolution through adoption occurs through each ill-fated interaction with a stranger who says “Who are his/her real parents?” I offer that we should look at each of these situations not as an annoyance of ignorance, but as an opportunity to drop a seed of evolution. For each response we give, we may be able to stretch someone’s perspective of “family”, or to heighten their awareness of the social and environmental needs in Ethiopia and around the world, or maybe to just have them stop and think for a moment about a world community before they hurry off “fast”. Maybe if we’re really lucky, then that stranger will go home and tell their spouse about this family they saw today, and that spouse will mention it to someone at work, and so on and so on.

Evolution in Beth’s words – a perpetual increase in conscious awareness toward the reality of global community. Welcome all friends :-)

The Waiting Post.....

2007-10-23T06:51:00.001-07:00

I know this post has been written by a thousand adoptive families, a thousand times over. The waiting post. Just waiting. And waiting.... and waiting. It's why I haven't posted. Why bore you all with nothing to say. Unfortunately, what's feels even worse to me about the waiting is that right now we're waiting on our home study agent to submit our updated home study to USCIS. I fully expected it to be completed by (before, actually) the end of last week. But, not yet. Nothing yet. Then, after it's resubmitted, we have to wait on USCIS for the I-171-H. Wait, wait, wait.

I've been keeping myself obnoxiously busy in the interim, which serves the purpose of concealing the anxiety, distress, helplessness of waiting. We bought a cabin in the mountains and are busily remodeling in to prep it for rent during ski season. I'm volunteering at my children's school. Still waiting (more waiting...) for our golden retriever, writing Children's Literature stories (as part of a curriculum), oh yea, working part time, and doing all those other normal family things, like cleaning and shopping and eating.

It's been amazingly fun watching all the news of referrals, court dates, and travel plans from both the MI and NC Yahoo groups. Thanks all for sharing your excitement, your lives with us.

Hopefully I'll have something more productive to post soon...

Just a hello

2007-10-09T08:31:00.001-07:00

I've been pretty much out of touch for the last week and a half or more. We made a family trip to MI, driving up from NC, to visit family in both eastern and central MI. And, I had my 20yr class reunion (gasp!). I was not on the internet much during that time, so was way behind in reading the blogs. I enjoyed catching up today. Just wanted to drop a post here today to say, "Hi, I'm back."

We've engaged in an intermediate adoption over the last couple weeks also... a golden retriever. We previously had a male (Crosby) and a female (Scarlet), but we lost Crosby to cancer last April. Scarlet needs a buddy, so we applied at the Neuse River Golden Retriever Rescue, have been approved (if only Ethiopian adoption approvals could move so quickly...) and are waiting for our dog. Surprisingly, they are not readily available. Every time we find one we like, there is a list of families waiting to adopt them. Our forever dog will come... someday. Attached is a picture of Crosby and Scarlet with our daughters, taken last Christmas. Crosby and Rachel are on the left, Scarlet and Chloe on the right.

On the Ethiopian adoption front, we hit a small snag in the USCIS process. They've requested some further information from us, so we needed to revise and resubmit our homestudy. That should go out this week. This set us back maybe a couple weeks, so hopefully we will get the I-171-H by end October.

Glad to be back in the loop...

Why Ethiopia?/Why a Boy? Part II

2007-09-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

Betsy recently published a phenomenal post on the conditions in Ethiopia. The statistics are staggering and humbling. Thank you Betsy for two reasons for publishing that post (1) for bringing it to our awareness once again and (2) for inspiring me to write my own Why Ethiopia?/Why a Boy? post.

Let's start with Why a Boy? first. This is the easy one. We have two biological daughters, a female golden retriever and a female cat (we recently had to put down the male dog and cat counterparts). My husband is feeling a little outnumbered and that's that :-)

Why Ethiopia? This discussion has the propensity to be substantially long. I look forward to writing it and experiencing my own emotions with it. When I attempt to tell people Why Ethiopia? I generally fall back on something like, "No reason. It was not a decision. It was just what I felt in my heart". This seems to leave people fairly dissatisfied, but I don't otherwise know how to explain Why Ethiopia? in a concise enough fashion so as not to bore them to death. So let's start here... actually, let's start many years back instead, where Why Ethiopia? began long before I knew it.

Matt and I lived in San Jose, CA for 3 years, from 2000-2003. One day we took a day trip out to a huge arts and crafts festival in search of the *perfect* mantle for the fireplace. While there, we discovered this 6 foot wood-carved giraffe. She was beautiful. Graceful and long. And she was quirky. Crooked and skinny. It did seem a bit absurd to put a 6 foot giraffe in our house, but she had already won my heart over. We took her home.

Sometime thereafter, Matt and I were strolling through the street plaza in Monterey after lunch on the water. We happened upon an art fair and stopped to look at some professional photography. One woman had a collection of photos which she took from all the places she had visited. The distinction in her work was that she focused on the people of the various regions instead of the scenery. Her work was fascinating in both quality and content. She excelled at capturing the essence of the person. I marveled at photos of Tibetan Monks and groups of Chinese practicing T'ai Chi and many others. But my heart was enraptured when I saw her photo of a 5-ish African girl standing in front of a worn and tattered red door. The beauty of her soul poured through her eyes, even in the photo. Was it odd to have a photo of an African girl in my home? I didn't care; she came home with us too.

Another day trip excursion brought us to the art district of Carmel. We meandered off the beaten path for a sidestop to pick up some sundries. Our curiosity was piqued by an eclectic little shop that seemed curiously out of place. We stepped inside and found ourselves engulfed by the colors and smells which define a bohemian way of life. High up on the wall, well above a natural viewing point, we caught sight of a collection of African masks and staffs. "Those are cool," we agreed, "The staffs are beautiful." Was it freaky to have these ritualistic, multi-colored, beaded African masks hanging on our walls? Possibly. But we liked them. They came home too.

Have you ever listened to the sound of the beating of an African drum? Have you felt it move your heart and soul in time with the life force itself, grounded to the earth? I have. We brought two drums home earlier this summer.

How is it that these artifacts can relay to us, thousands of miles away, the heart and soul of Africa? How can we experience an attachment to a people with which we have never spoken a word or exchanged a glance? How is it that I can feel the desire to adopt from Ethiopia prior to any knowledge of the current political and social environment? "Lucy" is 3 million years old; the continent of Africa, the country of Ethiopia, has been inhabited for millions of years. The history and the people of Africa are rooted in the earth; through these roots they are connected to the Oneness of the world. Their spirit transcends time and space to reach us here, and pull at our heartstrings, through Oneness, God. Have you ever participated in an African dance class? Take your shoes off if you want to join in; find your roots in the earth through your feet. Anyone who prefers to spend their time barefoot understands this intuitively, if not consciously. (Only in America do we exercise with our shoes on - thick rubber soled shoes providing a perfect barrier to the earth).

I did not fully understand all these seemingly disparate pieces of my life until I remodeled my bedroom here in North Carolina. (Huh?) I have a particular interest in home remodeling and created European/French Quarter New Orleans design in our bedroom. It really is quite stunning with striking black moldings, raised paneled wainscoting, and wrought iron valances. But everytime I walk in the room, I feel nothing. Matt emphatically told me how much he loves the room. And I responded, "Yes, it is beautiful. But I don't feel anything." He didn't understand. And then I did. My heart is with Africa.

Courier Craze...

2007-09-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

I've just relinquished the entire contents of my dossier to the hands of a corporate, faceless, courier service. The fact that the courier has a tracking service does very little to appease my fears of losing it when considering the indifferent hands through which it will pass over the course of the next two days. I've far since abandoned my beliefs in superstition, but for this one time, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will get to Kurt safely.

OK - forget the fingers - everyone start praying. :-)

A Curiosity Question

2007-09-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all-

This blog is strictly intended to appease my curiosity about the adoptive family's choices on number of children to adopt. It seems to me that at least half (or more?) families are choosing to adopt 2 children. For anyone interested to share, I would enjoy to read your thoughts one 1 vs. 2 children.

Beth

Our girls continue to amaze me

2007-09-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

"Chloe, Rach, last night I was on my computer looking at pictures of babies that other mommies and daddies have adopted from Ethiopia. I thought you might like to see them," I offered expectently across the breakfast table. My stomach dropped as I observed their expressionless, blank faces. "Would you like to see them when we get home tonight?" I offered as a second attempt. I felt the heavy silence as Chloe's mind churned for an answer.

"Why can't we see them NOW, mommy?" Chloe asked.

"Sure! OK! I have to go upstairs and get my computer," I responded as my heartbeat restored itself. We looked at Kidus and Mikias and Marika and Karelle.

"Let me see the boy again!" the requests came flying out. "Who's that one?" "Daddy! Daddy! Do you want to see the babies? Come here and see Daddy!" Matt was bombarded when he entered the kitchen. "Show him the boy, mommy!" "And the girls!"

As I loaded Rachel into the car later that morning, she turned and said "I wish it was your birthday mommy."

"Why is that, honey?" I questioned.

"Because then our brother would be here now," she responded.

It's scary to think I would have missed all this unless that "accident" of one of the volunteer mommies telling Chloe about the adoption had not happened.

On another note, my heart got a jump start today when I opened my packet of very-official-looking authenticated dossier documents from the NC Secretary of State today. One step closer.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories, so that I can share them with our girls.

Brother News

2007-08-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

Our daughers Chloe and Rachel are young, 5 and 3 respectively. Due to the lack of comprehension of time, and waiting being such a tremendous challenge for them, we have chosen to not yet tell them about the adoption. We have been waiting until it got closer, more certain, preferably with a referral photo to show them. Well, last night, I got a big surprise.

At bedtime, Chloe shared with me that the Center Time mommy in kindergarden that day told her that she was going to be getting a baby brother. Imagine my shock :-) I just listened while she talked, telling me she thought that it wasn't true, that we weren't getting a baby brother. She shared for a while, then finally said, "Are we getting a baby brother?" Gasp! I said, "Well, yes honey, you are getting a baby brother. But he won't be a baby, he will be about 2 years old". Smiles! Excitement! Anticipation! Chloe was ecstatic. Mommy was relieved. Then the questions rolled - When? I told her early next year, around my birthday, and that I would be happy to tell her all about it in the morning. I wanted to tell her and Rachel together.

In the morning, at the breakfast table, the memory of the previous night's discussion came flying back to Chloe. She started asking questions, while Rachel sat in confusion. I told her I wanted to tell her all about it, but wanted to wait for Daddy to come downstairs. She couldn't contain it. She started telling Rachel about their new brother, about 20 steps ahead of where the story should have started for Rachel. So, against my plan, I dove in and started telling them about their brother-to-be. That he would be about two years old, that mommy would travel to a country called Ethiopia to pick him up, that he needs a home, that people in Ethiopia have brown skin. Chloe was ecstatic. Rachel was not happy. I asked her what was wrong. She said, "Is he going to sleep in my bed... with me?!" "No Rachel, I'm not going to give your bed away. Mommy is going to give her office away. We will turn my office into another bedroom for him." She was relieved, but not yet particularly happy. I tried a couple other things, and then said "Rachel, you will have a little boy to play with all the time!" And that did it - she was immediately thrilled (as she is a full-fledged tomboy.)

After that, I was overwhelmed with ideas and suggestions about how we would invite this little boy into our home. Chloe offered to help paint his room and suggested that we should do it in an animal theme with lions, giraffes, and other jungle animals. Rachel was enthusiasically deciding which toys their new brother would like best, and how she would show him who "Diego" is. The ideas and suggestions poured out through the morning and we all had great fun talking about bringing this child into our home. Chloe was particularly excited that she was going to be the OLDEST child, failing to recognize, that in fact, she already is.

Suffice it to say, this was a very enrichening, happy, and relieving experience. I guess our plan to withhold the news just wasn't how it was supposed to be :-)

Beth

Initial Post

2007-08-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

This is my first posting to record our journey through adopting a child from Ethiopia. Since it is the first, I suspect it may be fairly lengthy, as I think back to where we've been, and where we're at right now. I don't know what exactly I will write, but will just let it flow as I relive the experience so far.

I had a thought, a feeling, a message, whatever the appropriate word might be, early this year, January actually, that I would like to adopt a child from Ethiopia. I don't know from where the feeling or desire originated. It has occurred to me that the thought may have been related to a very emotional experience we had the previous year when it seemed we might unexpectedly adopt my young nephew, but in the end it did not happen. It was really an emotional roller coaster. At the time of the failed adoption of my nephew, my snap reaction was to to adopt elsewhere. I decided that it was not appropriate to choose to adopt "on the rebound" so to speak, and let the matter dissipate. I had not considered adoption again.

In January 2007, the message to adopt from Ethiopia came to me. The initial excitement of another child consumed me (we have two biological daughters) and my initial reaction was to jump to into action. Again, I chose to wait out the emotional high to determine whether the message would persist or if it would fade away with the initial adrenaline. After the high subsided and the emotion stabilized, the message remained and turned into a calm desire, a sweet happiness. At this point, maybe end of February, I shared my thoughts with my husband Matt. Being a complete surprise to him, he of course was stunned and unprepared to respond. It was important for me to not create pressure on Matt to agree with my desire. I was desiring that he choose to come to me with his decision, so that it was really his decision also, not mine. So, we spoke about it very little in the interim, touching only lightly on it here and there.

After a couple months, I assumed he was against the idea, so I approached him with that discussion mind. Surprisingly, he said to me "Actually, I've decided I really want to do it". My stomach squirmed with excitement and anticipation, just the same as it did previously when I found out I was pregnant. We frequently spoke about the changes to our family financially and emotionally, the impact on our daughters, and the decision to become a transracial family. We watched ourselves grow and stretch just in the consideration, in the possibility, of adding an additional family member. We watched our initial concerns, which seemed so real, dissipate into near frivolity of such insignificance that it became curious that they were ever concerns at all.

During the two months Matt was considering his decision, I had been doing a fair amount of research on the internet about adoption but had not taken any action to avoid a potential subsequent disspointment. However, with us both in agreement, I proceeded to initiate the process and unexpectedly came across AAI through a working relationship my sister had with them. I found the staff at AAI to be especially helpful, forthcoming, and supportive. The ease with which I found AAI was received as act of grace and an indication that we were making the right choice. I've accepted over my life that when things "just fall into place" it should be taken as an indication that your life is moving in its intended direction. It was very reassuring for me.

Through our decision process, we had chosen not to share with our families or friends. Once we had decided together, it was time to share our news. This was a substantial emotional activity for us as we were anticipating alot of negative feedback. We were expecting alot of resistance, alot of "what ifs", alot of issues about becoming a transracial family. Instead, the response we received was completely unexpected, full of support, love, acceptance, and good wishes. I was honestly overwhelmed by how much joy and excitement was created with the news. It was so intense, that it momentarily created a feeling that if for some reason we changed our minds, that we would be disappointing alot of people. It temporarily brought on an additional challenge and component of anxiety. However, I soon realized that nobody was creating that burden on us; I had fabricated it myself.

I received the application and ambitiously worked through generating all the documents. I also researched and engaged a local home study agency. Of course, very soon into the process, the financial burden was very apparent. The financial requirements are enough to make anyone reconsider or give up hope, failing to see a means to achieve the end. I decided right then and there that if this is what we were supposed to be doing, that I would trust that the financial means would be made available to us. I would not struggle in the "How" dilemma. I believe it is the biggest act of faith I have ever accepted (at least at the conscious level...). Shortly thereafter, I discovered that while in the buzz of preparing the documents, the emotional ride is kept at bay. At some point, I took a breather, joined the Yahoo Group, and started to read about other's journeys. It was overwhelming, fascinating, disheartening, creating anticipation, and pretty wonderful. The emotions that were squashed down with the burden of documents came roaring to the surface. It created an exceptional longing in me to have my child. I started to (and still do) regularly envision our little two year old boy sitting at the table with us, getting in the car with us, going to the mountains, being at the beach, everything, with us.

There has been many acts of grace, and leaps of faith during this process so far. I found another area that could readily dissuade an adoptive family is the fear of an unexpected substantial health issue with the adopted child. This is another place, like with the finances, that not giving into the fear is the only approach possible. We discussed and willingly accepted that the child we receive is our intended child. If for some reason God intends us to have a special needs child (we've requested a healthy child), I accept that as part of the path of my life. It is the other biggest act of faith I have conciously accepted.

As of today, we are waiting for our I-171H. We received notice that the estimated timeframe to receive it is between end August and end September ("Do not call before Oct 11" or something of this nature...). So, in the iterim, I'll continue writing my blogs and reading yours. If you stayed with me this long, thank you for your time. Our time is very valuable. I hope you enjoyed our story.

One final comment...
I find it very curious that our home study agent has proactively completed all the appropriate steps for re-adoption "just in case" even though we have assured her we are only adopting one :-)

May God's grace reveal itself to you-
Beth Luneke